Red Pencil Diaries

I just discovered this site where they have archives of funny headlines sent in for the Tonight Show. I laughed until I cried.

This article about how many Miss World contestants are boycotting the pageant because it’’s being held in Nigeria where the courts (unders strict shariah law) have upheld the decision to stone a woman to death for having a child out of wedlock will give me nightmares. I can’‘t even imagine how or why the courts could do such a thing. I can’‘t even find the words to describe my feelings… What a world we live in.

Okay. Now a company has developed a way to turn your loved ones’’ cremated ashes into diamonds. Not sure how I feel about this one. I mean, the thought of having someone’’s remains on a chain around my neck gives me the chills. But it’’s oh so pretty. Gives new meaning to “diamonds ARE a girl’’s best friend.” Right?

Okay. That’’s really not a news flash. But I don’‘t think Michael Jackson should have custody of his own children. He’’s just too freaky weird to me. He has two children (Prince Michael and Paris) and now he’’s claiming a third baby boy to be his natural son: Prince Michael II. I’‘m seeing shades of George Foreman (who has several sons named George) in his naming convention. And the photo of the King of Pop on this site has him looking more like Pinnochio than the real Michael. Can we say one too many bad nose jobs? Ewww!

Home sick today. I’‘ve had a dreadful headache. But I did get this link sent to me by a co-worker. Apparently this guy is a huge Elvis fan… It’’s just amazing what you can do with a good mower these days.

Last night we watched a show about the Pillsbury Bake Off contest. People win $10,000 for winning a category and $1 Million for winning overall. I think I can do that. Now I just need to come up with a good recipe…

This whole trial sounds like a joke. This is about the trial of Cary Stainer, who is on trial for killing four women in Yosemite forest a year or two ago. His defense attorney claims that Cary has been seeing Bigfoot and stalking him for years and that “Silva also said Stayner was haunted by recurring images of floating heads and felt the teachings of 16th century French soothsayer Nostradamus applied to him.” Also, during the trial, “The testimony was interrupted when prosecutor George Williamson asked for a break because he was ‘’brain dead.’’ ” What a circus. It seems that most big trials nowadays are complete freakshows. Attorneys trying outlandish defenses, prosecutors making bizarre statements. Maybe all trials should be closed to the media. Might make them tone things down a bit…

So some friends of mine from work and I started a book club. Our first book was Child’’s Book Of True Crime by Chloe Hooper. It was an interesting first attempt for this young author, but the ending of the book sucked. (You can tell by my language that we aren’‘t your usual snooty/intellectual book club. Yes, we are intelligent. But we tend to discuss our books over beers and cigarettes at a local dive/bar in between sharing gossip and complaints about work. It’’s wonderful.) It had some interesting moments, but the sections written from an animal point of view were confusing and bizarre.
Our second book is Icy Sparks by Gwyn Hyman Rubio. I couldn’‘t put this book down for two days. And then, the last three chapters were a complete let down. Why can’‘t authors get the ending right?
The book I’‘m reading now (not for the club) is 4 Blondes by Candace Bushnell (of Sex In The City fame). I’‘m about half way through it and haven’‘t been disappointed yet. Let’’s hope it ends well.

I cannot believe this story. How can you confuse your son with another? Especially considering the boys had been in an accident—one was dead, the other in critical condition. I would have asked for blood tests, etc. And didn’‘t anyone check their wallets for ID? This must be awful for the parents to go through. I wonder if these boys looked so much alike. I just can’‘t fathom how anyone wouldn’‘t know their son by looking at him. However, my Mom always said tattoos were the best identifiers. My sister has two of them and my brother has two or three. I guess I should get one soon so no one will ever confuse me with anyone else…

Well, actually, it’’s Dave’’s birthday on Friday. We’‘re planning on getting together the usual gang of geek friends and heading out to Martini Italian Bistro for dinner this weekend. Should be a fun time. Then, we’‘ll have people over for cake and drinks. I’‘m planning an alien theme for the cake party. Lots of purple and green and black decorations. It’‘ll be a blast!