Red Pencil Diaries

I found this in a news of the weird column on MSN:
And the trade journal Advertising Age reported in September that Island Def Jam music company is actively considering selling product placements in the lyrics of some of the company''s artists'' recordings. (Current product mentions in lyrics are believed to be uncompensated and at the whim of the artist.) [Advertising Age, 9-9-02]
As if those inconspicuous product placements in movies aren''t bad enough... Now the world will be singing "jingles" and we''ll have to pay for them.
What ever happened to the integrity of musicians? Why do we need to be force fed ads? Maybe we''re not far off from the whole Minority Report of the future with ads spewing forth from every angle. Can''t say that I am looking forward to it. After workin in advertising for several years, I can say it''s all a complete sham... How many times did I write a stupid ad for something I''d never used. Never believed in. And people bought it...

Now doctors are saying that you can safely (and painlessly) remove warts using duct tape. Of course, if you''ve ever stuck duct tape to your body and tried to remove it later (don''t ask why), you''ll remember the pain of the sticky tape removing any hair underneath it. Oh, and then there''s the fun of removing the sticky ick that it leaves on your skin... Hmm. Makes me want to stick with those wart remover pads or some Clear Away.

Today is my first installment of what I hope to become a weekly post (or daily if I can swing it) of the worst sentences I''ve found in articles I''m editing at work. Remember, I edit technical articles about computers and programming, written by geeks (most of whom have no real writing skills) for geeks. Some sentences (or paragraphs) will be technical in nature. And some will make absolutely no sense.

I do not claim to be a grammarian. So no picking on any grammatical errors you may find on my blog (that belong to me). Once you read these examples, though, I think you''ll understand why reading this stuff every day makes me insane:

1. Having a tool that will be the equivalent of a swiss army knife is the hunt for the holy grail that most of us have been on at one point in our career.
Okay, can you add one more metaphor to this jumble? And then try to tell us what the heck you''re talking about?

2. The creation of the collection can be attributed from needing a feature that was present in another language, but being unable to use those languages due to wanting the code to run on multiple browsers.
This one was sent to a co-worker of mine. I can''t even begin to explain where this one went wrong. It''s so bad.

I''m sure I''ll have more to share soon. Stay tuned...

I just read this article on MSN about the Tivo. Seems that the company hasn''t been able to reach profitability. Sounds grim. They''re comparing it to the downfall of Commodore in the Amiga age... *sigh* Of course, I should have seen it coming. This was one of the few gadgets that my husband never bought. He''s usually a good guage for how well a product will do. He researches things to death before finally making a decision. Then again, he has been proven wrong before. I mean, he did own a Commodore...

On Friday, I ordered 3 sample bags from Yak Pak. It''s a cool deal. They sell purses, bags, duffles, backpacks, cell phone bags, etc. Some are sporty. Some are cool. They even sell Levi''s and Dickies brand stuff. And for $10 (plus $5 shipping), they will send you 3 random sample bags (could be a $50 backpack, could be a $25 purse and a $10 cell phone bag). It''s like a surprise! Plus, I figure I spend more than $15 on purses that I don''t use that often... I can'' wait to see what I get. I''ll keep you posted.

Okay, my former boss sent me the links to two hilarious little flash cartoon-like things. The first one is Mark Llama. I snickered a bit at the heliumed gerbils--and laughed quite a bit at the dirigerbil! But the second one--Punk Kittens--I laughed out loud. Crank it up! White Stripes "Fell In Love With A Girl!" Watch for the stage diving kitten...

Something useful that I found today: The Dead People Server. When you''re sitting around wondering which celeb has kicked the bucket or whether that one old guy from that one movie way back when is still alive, check it out.

Also, I''ve been WAAAY busy gearing up for LeeAnn & Steve''s wedding. It''s on Saturday. And I will be much relieved when it''s over. (Yes, I''m a bridesmaid in the wedding. And my mother and I have been creating tons of silk floral arrangments and bouquets for the wedding. It''s been quite taxing.) Too bad it''s supposed to rain that day...