Red Pencil Diaries

So this morning/afternoon/evening sickness won''t go away. I sit all day feeling so sick and no food sounding remotely appetizing. I sip on water, sprite, and ginger ale. That helps just a bit. But even the little food I do eat doesn''t want to stay down. Although I haven''t really gotten sick today (yay!). But I sure do feel like it. And we''re having a "team lunch" today at work. I haven''t told my boss or most people at work that I''m pregnant. So now I get to pretend to enjoy food and pray that I don''t have to get sick while we''re out. Ugh. What a day...

Well. I just talked to the nurse at my doctor''s office. After today''s blood test, my HCG levels are at 3,609, which she said was "VERY good." Not sure yet what the emphasis on VERY means.

I get to make an appt. for my doctor''s visit the 3rd week in June. That''s the week of our 4th wedding anniversary.

I''m starting to actually feel pregnant now. I''m bloated. I feel queasy on and off all day. And I get very tired easily. Good news is that I sleep pretty well now. Usually out like a light before 11 p.m.

It''s just kind of weird, though. Every day I feel sort of different. And now, my face keeps breaking out. My skin is super sensitive (I used a new exfoliating body cleanser, and my neck and shoulders broke out in a bad rash). I''m thirsty a lot... I crave water. It''s just amazing to think about what all is going on inside me right now. Supposedly I''m about six weeks along and the baby is nearly a half an inch and has a heart beat. Wow. Too much to fathom. I need to go day dream some more and surf the Web for more info...

When I used to work at Paul Schultz, we had this Safe-T-Man dummy that we kept posing in people''s offices when they were away. I always wondered what happened to him. I think I found him here.

My friend Beth just sent me the link to this site that shows pics from Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. OMG. This stuff is disgusting. I would say that someone made this stuff up, but you cant'' make up crap like this. You just can''t. It''s just.... WRONG.

I just heard from my doctor... the blood tests were positive. I''m pregnant! Yay me!

I''m just overwhelmed and excited. I don''t know what to think first... Wow. It''s starting to sink in now. (How am I ever going to get anything done at work today?)

LOL

A friend of mine forwarded this link to me. Pure genius!

On a completely unrelated note... I took another pregnancy test last night. It was positive. However, I''m still waiting until I get my blood test from the doctor tomorrow before I completely say with 100% accuracy that I am having a baby.

So I took a pregnancy test yesterday. And it had a very faint line... so later I took another one. And it did the same thing. So I''m supposed to wait 5 days to see if I get my period. And I can keep taking tests to see if that line gets darker (the darker it is, the more HCG hormone is in your system). So my plan is to wait and take another test tonight--if I don''t start my period today.

I''m sort of afraid to accept that it could really be true. But then, part of me is SOOO excited I''m about to burst. Fingers are still crossed. Send positive vibes, please...

Okay... a few days ago, I was looking in the mirror in the bathroom and noticed that the cherubs on the wallpaper border in there resembled my body shape. Or, to rephrase that, my body shape resembled that of the cherubs on my wallpaper border. Kind of odd. Kind of not good. But I''m working on it. I''m working on it. I''ve been walking in the evenings and doing some toning exercises. I can tell in my legs that it''s paying off. But it''s happening slowly. Slow is good, though. If I can lose the weight slow and keep the exercise as part of my daily routine, I''ll be more likely to keep it off.

It''s kind of funny, though. I started out losing the weight to help me try to get pregnant. And if I get pregnant, I''m likely to gain some weight back. But if I can at least keep up my walking IF I get pregnant, the weight will come off easier after.

Also, I''m still worried about this last insemination. I so want to think that it worked. But I''m so afraid to jinx it by thinking positively. The devestation of the negative pregnancy tests... I just don''t know how I will handle it next time... if it happens again. Next pregnancy test will be taken on Mother''s Day (my friend said that''s a good omen). I''ll keep everyone posted.

And of course, I''ve been worried about Dave. Not sure if you read his blog, but he''s had some dizziness problems, possibly from an ear infection. And he has to have an MRI b/c of a small calcium spot that showed up during his CAT scan... I try not to think about it all, but I couldn''t sleep very well last night b/c I kept having weird dreams and then when I woke up, all I could do was think and worry.

Right now I have an inflamed tastebud that''s driving me insane.... And I need to go to bed soon. Good night. Let''s hope I get some rest.

Kachina just sent me this one. It has a rather funny typo in it:

To continue with the transaction, just lick the Buy Now button.

LOL