Red Pencil Diaries

So we''re all being asked to identify which of 5 new departments we''d like to work in, even though we don''t know who will run the departments or what type of job we will have in these departments. Plus, we may not even be placed in the department we identify as the one we''d like to work in. And yet, I''m supposed to be passionate about one of these new areas and tell them that I''d like to be a part of it?

Each day brings new frustration. Every day I have stiff neck, headaches, sore shoulders. It''s all stress. I usually feel somewhat better when I get home. But the lingering frustrations still keep me down somewhat. I really feel out of control. As if I''m losing my job (which I really am), but someone''s going to give me a new one--forget that I might like some say in my new position. But that won''t be left up to me to decide.

Not to mention, since I''m pregnant and I need this insurance, I cannot just go find another job someplace else. I''m stuck here at least until after I have the baby. So I must just accept what happens and live through it somehow.

On a slightly better note, Dave is taking me to Atlanta with him when he goes down for the week of Aug 10-15 for work. So I may not get to spend tons of time with him during the day, but at least I won''t be here in the office feeling all tense. Of course, I''ll need to set up some type of communication with people in my office to make sure nothing big happens while I''m away--such as them announcing our new jobs, etc.

*sigh* I need a nap.

So Dave and I are attempting to strip the wallpaper out of our master bathroom and respackle the walls and paint. We started the stripping process on Saturday and still aren''t finished. We hope to at least get the last of the wallpaper down tonight and some spackle up to dry and sand. It''s such a tiny bathroom. I never dreamed it would take so long to do this.

On Friday I went to the doctor. All is well. I got to hear the baby''s heartbeat, and of course that made me cry. We have our ultrasound in late August to try to find out the sex of the baby. I''m soooo excited about that. I want to know so bad. But I keep thinking that b/c I want to know so badly, they probably won''t be able to tell. But I guess we''ll see.

Yesterday was my birthday. I am now 32. I don''t really feel older. Of course, I do feel really pregnant.

Not much else is new. Dave is going to Austin tomorrow. He''ll only be gone a couple of days, but I''ll still miss him bunches.

Last night Dave and I used the doppler sound detector thingy that my sister loaned me. We picked up the sound of the baby''s heartbeat. It was very cool to hear it. It was so clear. I have another doctor''s appointment this week. I''ll keep you posted.

I''ve had a rather sucky week (considering it''s only Tuesday, that''s saying a lot). There is some serious new shit going down at work, which I won''t spell out here. Just suffice it to say that my name was drawn to serve on a committee headed by a person I cannot stand. Although, three of the four committees were headed by people I don''t necessarily like, so I guess it was very likely I''d end up on one of them.

I''m getting ready to head home for the day. I need a nap and some dinner. The good thing is, my appetite is coming back. However, I don''t usually know until right before I eat what might possibly sound good. *sigh*

My birthday is Monday. I''m going to be 32. Just typing that out makes me feel old.

I hope the rest of this week goes better for me. Tomorrow afternoon I''m getting a new PC at work with Windows XP. Yes, I''m losing my laptop. But at least I won''t have to lug the thing home every day.

Dave and I went to see T3 last night. It was pretty good. I must say, I wasn''t really in the mood for another Terminator movie, but I liked it. However, I had a really hard time sitting in those chairs for the two hours. Being pregnant makes you not able to tolerate things that seemed tolerable before. I guess I''m just overly sensitive now.

So I was off for four days in a row. And now I''m back in this place. I hate it. But I guess I''ll live.

I went out on Thursday and got all my hair cut off. It''s a short, chin length bob. Much cooler. I think I might try to keep it this way until it starts getting cold outside.

We had a great fireworks show at my aunt''s house thanks to Dave and my brother-in-law Joe. They did the all the pyrotechnics and dangerous stuff. LOL... my niece and nephews seemed to really like it. And it was actually pretty cool. We even had some cool morters.

Saturday, I was sick nearly all day. When I thought I was feeling better, we went to a cookout at James'' house, and I got sick (sorry about that James). Then later we went out to Dour''s house. I felt sooo bad there. We left after about an hour and of course I went home and threw up a couple of more times. Woohoo. Just when I thought I was over all that...

Sunday we went down to Irvington for my brother-in-law''s girlfriend''s baby shower (if you can''t follow that, it was Dave''s brother''s girlfriend''s baby shower LOL). It was nice overall, I guess. But let''s just say I totally didn''t fit in with the crowd. One girl actually put a chewed up wad of bubble gum on the side of her cup and then turned it toward me (across the table from her) as if SHE didn''t want to have to look at it, but I wouldn''t mind at all! (so thoughtful!) This is the same girl who announced that you could put "furnish" on the unfinished rocking chair to "make it all wood colored." Yeah. Right. She must be related to Homer Formby. LOL... furnish. Or maybe you could try VARNISH.

Well, today I got a very small raise. But since I haven''t had a raise in nearly 3 years, a small raise is better than none. And considering that we''re off work for July 3 and July 4, I am thinking this is a pretty good week so far. Although, if today were Wednesday, it''d be even better. But I won''t complain too much.

I just got a call from my OB doctor''s office that my blood tests were all fine. So my next appointment isn''t until July25. Oh, and my new OB says my due date is January 19. It just keeps changing. But babies are rarely born on the day the doctor says they''re due anyway.

My friend LeeAnn (who lives in Cleveland) is being induced tomorrow, so her baby (and Steve, her husband''s baby Connor should arrive sometime tomorrow afternoon. I''m very excited for them both. Can''t wait to see the little peanut!

On that note, I should get back to work!