Red Pencil Diaries

After one week in bed, I''ve discovered that I am sleeping too much. I''ve had two naps today since 8:00 am, and I still feel sleepy. And it''s only 1:30. I think I''ll finally go take a shower. Maybe that''ll wake me up.

Yesterday was a good day. I had a doctor''s appointment at 3:30. We got there at 3:23, and they took me back and I had to "strip from the waist down" and lie on the rather cold, hard exam table to wait. After about 15 minutes, the nurse came in to tell us that the doctor had gone to the hospital to deliver a baby. Since I''m on bedrest, I stayed there, laying on the table and waiting. About an hour later, my doctor returned and my exam went well. Stitch is holding tight, the baby''s heartbeat was strong. So I was sent home to continue my bedrest. My "goal" is to reach 28 weeks--which will be the end of August. If we meet that goal, we''ll set a new one. But it''s good to have a date to focus on for now. Only a couple of months away...

I don''t even want to think about the next several months here in bed. Honestly, after one week, I''m totally going insane. No one to talk to. Not much to do. And I''m not able to get up and do anything for our house or for Dave. It''s truly frustrating. But I try to sit back and remember, this is for my baby... And that helps me get through the day.

On a slightly different note... I am starting to feel the baby move now. It''s getting quite big. I feel strange little pokes and rolling feelings in my tummy. At first it was quite weird. But now, it''s kind of soothing. I can''t wait until it''s big enough to move around where Dave can feel it from the outside. It''s really amazing. Something I can''t quite describe... but one of the most incredible feelings in the world.

For all who posted comments, thanks very much. I will eventually probably take you up on some of them... of course as would figure... On top of the bedrest, I caught some kind of virus and have been sick for two days now. Ugh. So it''s been difficult to sleep or get comfortable or anything. I''m feeling a bit better today, though.

So far all I have energy for is laying around and watching tv.

I''m hoping I''ll feel better soon. I''ll keep yall posted. and Thanks again!!!

My real OB called me tonight at 8 pm to tell me to get in bed, stay in bed. It is now my job to be in bed and only to get up to go to the bathroom and take a shower once a day.

So I guess I''d better get used to this... Only a few more months of it and I''ll be able to get back up. Any recommendations of movies or books or things to do while bed ridden would be greatly appreciated...

Well, the good news is: we''re having a boy.

The bad news is: My cervix is funnelling down almost to the stitch, which means if I didn''t have the stitch, my cervix would be open and dilated. However, there are no guarantees and the doctor said to "stay off my feet as much as possible." So I''m putting myself on bedrest. I''m totally upset and scared right now. We can only wait and hope that the stitch holds and my bag of waters doesn''t bulge down any further.

I''m in bed now and I guess this will be my new home from here on out. But I''ll stand on my head from here on out if someone told me that would work...

Well, I haven''t posted in a week or more. Last week was kinda tough for me. It was my 18th week, and last year during my 18th week, I lost the baby. So I was a bit frazzled and worried and stressed all week. Which of course led to me having one freak out and going to the doctor, but it ended up being nothing but pressure from the baby growing, so all was ok.

Today I am here sitting in bed b/c all of our livingroom furniture has been distributed throughout the house. We''re having carpet and flooring installed on Wednesday and Thursday, so we must take up the old carpet in there tonight and tomorrow. Sounds like fun, huh?

Speaking of tomorrow... At 9 a.m., I get my next ultrasound. We''re hoping for a clear view so we can see the sex of the baby!!!! Dave and I are so excited. I''ll bet I don''t even sleep much tonight! Then again, if the baby isn''t in a decent position, we may not get to see anyway, but just the thought of seeing the baby moving around on screen is enough to make me excited anyway.

I''ll post tomorrow with the results... So check back soon.

Well, the 19th is mine and Dave''s 5th anniversary. The traditional anniversary gift for 5 years of marriage is "wood." The modern gift is "silverware." So now I''m totally perplexed as to what to get. Maybe I can convince Dave to get a new dining room table/chairs. I also want one of those cool glider rockers with the glider ottoman (good for "rocking" babies). But we''ll probably end up with something much smaller.

Speaking of babies... my tummy is getting out of control. LOL. I think most people can definitely tell I''m pregnant by looking at me now. I have NO waist. I have been wearing nice knit maternity "tents"... I mean tank tops with matching shorts. My doctor on Monday said that my uterus is measuring higher up in my belly than she thought it should at this time. Nothing to worry about, she said. But it''s already right below my belly button. She calculated that I was 17 weeks on Tuesday, and I see that my ticker counter on my web page is saying I''m not yet 17 weeks. So I think the ticker is off a few days. Oh, and at my doctor''s appointment, I''d somehow lost 3 lbs. from my last appointment. Overall, I''m down 2 lbs. from my original prepregnancy weight. Still, my doctor isn''t worried. As she says "the baby gets all the nutrition it needs before you do, and it seems to be growing just fine." On June 22, we get our level 2 ultrasound and we HOPE to be able to tell the sex of the baby then. That''s just a bit over a week away, so we''re getting super excited! woohoo!

On a separate note... Dave has been rewiring our living room electrical outlets. He''s nearly finished. It''s amazing. All these holes and wires and tools laying around. My dad is coming over this weekend to help Dave patch up all the drywall holes. Then, we get paint and new carpet. Sooooo exciting. I can''t believe it. Dave''s been working sooo hard on all this. He''s just wonderful. I keep telling him that not many people out there can do all this type of work on a house. He is Mr. DIY.

Well. I was sick most of last week. On Thursday, I felt much better and I think I over did things. I cleaned carpet, did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, went shopping, made dinner (all of which seem normal, but I am pregnant (high risk) and sick). So I should have taken things more slowly. So I shouldn''t have freaked as much when on Friday morning I woke up at around 6 am to go to the bathroom, and I felt very dizzy. Then, I felt shaky all over. I was congested, but I felt very weird. For some reason (I was tired maybe, and then maybe I had a panic attack), I convinced myself that my tummy felt smaller and squishier (don''t ask...). So when Dave woke up to me crying, he and I both freaked out. He quickly showered and changed and drove me to the hospital. In the ER, they took blood, blood pressure, tempterature, did an EKG, and it took four nurses to find the baby''s heartbeat--which freaked me out some too, but the baby is still small now.

The doctor finally concluded that I had a "bug" and I was to go home, rest, take it easy, and drink lots of fluids. Which I did. By Saturday, I felt much better and today I feel nearly normal, although still somewhat congested.

I''m trying not to freak out over every small thing, but as Dave says, it''s better to be safe than sorry. And I definitely agree. Having experienced our loss last year, I have deep rooted fears and anxieties. I am determined to get through this pregnancy to as near full term as possible. But as last year proved, sometimes your own convictions don''t match those of your body. So even though you might be determined, your body can still fail you--without notice. So far, my cerclage seems to be doing well. I have my first doctor''s appointment (since my surgery) on Tuesday. I don''t know what to expect. I''m sure she''ll check things out, but other than that, not sure if she''ll tell me that I can get back to "normal" or if I''ll need extra precautions (more rest, no lifting, etc.).

Today I started feeling positive again. When we were at Meijer, I went to the baby department and looked at some of the things I''ll need. I didn''t purchase anything. But I soooo wanted to. I just need to make it past a few more milestones before I start feeling ready enough to buy more stuff. I still have a box of small things I''d purchased last year and saved. Mostly stuffed animals, quilts, blankets, and books. When we get to start on the baby room (probably in July or August), I''ll get them back out and go through them. I actually can''t remember all of the things I did buy. It''ll be exciting to go through it all again. And since my nephew is 1 now, my sister is offering me things he no longer uses--his cradle, his bouncer, etc. I can''t wait to get started on the room so I can put some things in it. I''m getting more and more excited just thinking about it. A good sign, I guess.

Angie sent me this link: german bears! If you move your cursor over them, they tumble and then will climb back up and make a pyramid.

So I tried to post a link here today, but when you clicked on the link, it wouldn''t work. So I can''t figure out what I did wrong. So I just deleted it.

I''ve been sick for a few days. I had a cold, I think. It was horrible. Sinus headaches and stuffiness and awful drainage. Today I feel better, so I''ve been shopping, cleaning, and running errands. Now I''m taking a break. I don''t want to do too much. I''ve also had awful cravings for Taco Bell lately. I have to have it at least once a week. So today I had some for lunch. I''m glad I don''t live closer to one, or I might be tempted to go there more often.

I''ve also been reading some on my new book on breastfeeding. I honestly don''t know much about it... but I want to do it for the baby at least for awhile. It''s amazing... according to the book, the world average age that women stop breastfeeding is around 4 years of age. Although not in the U.S., in some countries, it''s common to feed children way into toddler years. I just don''t think I could do that. I mean, I agree that breastmilk is good for my baby, but I don''t think I could go past 8 or 9 months. I mean, once the kid can ask for it, it seems a bit weird. Maybe I''m like most other Americans--I haven''t been exposed to breastfeeding enough, so I''m uncomfortable about it. I hope to get a bit more comfortable--although not comfortable enough to just do it in public!