Red Pencil Diaries

I think if someone had really been “babysitting Iraq” for the past 12 years, then not only would we have known that there weren’‘t weapons of mass destruction, but we would have avoided this fiasco of a war. I believe that this war has caused us to become the babysitters indefinitely. The whole country is in such a state that I honestly doubt that any successful elections can be held—especially any elections that might bring together the entire country under one agreed upon government. And because we went in and attacked without the backing of more nations, we are going to be the ones who pay for this war and the upkeep of this country for how many years? This is draining our country of money, hope, and the ability to get itself back on its feet after several years of economic trouble. Not to mention, most of the rest of the world has developed a hatred for our leader and contempt for our people. So now, it will be even more difficult to get other nations to help us set this Iraq back on the right path. I see that now, we are stuck trying to rebuild a nation that we toppled and that wasn’‘t as big of a threat to us as many other nations that we totally ignored in the past two years. Yes, we have to stick with it now. And yes, we will end up being the ones who pay the price for what we’‘ve done. But at what cost to the people of our country? And can we settle things without taking this war to other countries b/c now America is much less safe and more vulnerable to terrorist attacks? And if we must carry this war to more nations, how do we pay for it? Where do we get the troops necessary to do this without help from the rest of the world? And how many people are going to join the armed forces knowing they will be sent into a war that has no definite end? Will all those republicans and their children step up to go fight? Will they pay higher taxes to pay for the debts? Or will they sit back and continue to say that those of us who want to find a better way to end this war and get the world to help us fight terrorism are wrong and that the only way to get the world to see that we mean business is to invade first and ask questions later. If you ask me, that tactic hasn’‘t worked. So let’’s try something new.

The results of late night TV viewers’’ election knowledge and overall education levels: ‘’Daily Show’’ viewers ace political quiz .

I found this interesting information on CNN.com: Stewart’’s ‘’stoned slackers’‘? Not quite . It’’s insulting, actually. Most everyone I know who watches The Daily Show regularly is an intelligent, college educated, well informed, voting American. In fact, I often think that most of Jon Stewart and his crew’’s style of humor is above the heads of the “stoner” crowd. I’‘ve always thought O’‘Reilly was a half way smart person. But now I just really wonder… what competent, sane, “FAIR” TV journalist would make such a comment during an interview? And kudos to Jon Stewart for not stooping to O’‘Reilly’’s level and making an equally humiliating and stupid jab at O’‘Reilly’’s viewing audience. It just proves to me even more that many republicans speak before they have all the facts. I’‘ll bet O’‘Reilly has never even watched a full episode of The Daily Show. He’’s in for a real treat when he’’s on the show and being cleverly ripped upon by JS. Go Jon Stewart… lol

Ok… I know I think too much. But being restricted to the house and mostly the bed and/or couch all the time, I tend to have a lot more time to just contemplate things and get myself all worked up.

Rant #1: I totally want to feel ready to have this baby, but after being down for many months, I’‘m starting to panic and feel out of control. I do have things for him that my sister has given/loaned me, but it’’s all over the house. I’‘m usually one who likes to make checklists and make sure I’‘ve gotten everything. But it’’s sinking into my head now, that he’’s coming soon and I haven’‘t even bought an outfit for him to wear home. I know I’‘m going to have a shower in a few weeks, but it’’s not the same as getting to go to the store and purchase that one perfect thing you want his first picture made in. Dave said tomorrow evening we can go to Target and pick up a few things and add some important stuff to our registry. And that makes me feel somewhat better. I just have to control the urge to get up and start organizing. I try to spend most of my time still laying down. But it’’s very difficult. I so want to be able to wash his clothes and put them in the drawers and be able to say “I know where that is when I need it.”

Rant #2: I feel so out of touch. I’‘ve spent so long in bed and by myself (yes, I know Dave is here most of the time when he’’s not at work, and my sister was coming by every day, but now that I can get up for a bit and fix myself lunch, she is gonna come by only once a week), I have nearly forgotten what it’’s like to socialize. All my friends have their own lives, but I couldn’‘t tell you what was going on in any of their worlds. I guess I could just as easily call. But during the day, everyone is at work. And in the evenings, Dave and I try to spend time together. But there are no group outings. No visits. No dinners with friends. And I have a feeling that’’s how it will be from now on. Kim & Dave have a baby, so they can’‘t do anything anymore. I’‘m trying to get used to the idea. But I’‘ve always loved to go out and do things. Yes, it will be difficult. We’‘ll need to be home to take care of Zachary. We won’‘t want to take him out much when he’’s so little—especially when it’’s wintery outside. And I know a lot of our friends are kind of “anti baby”—especially out in restaurants or get togethers. But I want this baby more than anything. He will be my world once he’’s born. And I will get over these feelings. I just think too much.

Rant #3: Our country is in trouble. I can’‘t even begin to explain how this election is upsetting me. And I think I’‘m not alone. I can’‘t take four more years under the control of our current regime. I’‘ve watched our country become more hated and despised in this world every day. We have less and less “friends” in the world. The citizens are more and more divided. And so many of our soldiers are dying every day and we aren’‘t ANY closer to controlling terrorism in this world than we were in 2001 when our president vowed to hunt down the ones responsible for 9/11. Our economy is in the toilet. Dave and I have had to pay higher taxes each year. And I know soooo many people who lost their jobs in the past couple of years and can’‘t find decent work. Oh, yes. Some of them are working, but in temp jobs or lower positions making much less pay with longer hours—or some are working two jobs to try to get close to what they made before. And I have many family members who are totally without health insurance b/c they have had to take part time jobs or temp jobs and just can’‘t afford their own plan. I see budgets cut in the schools where the kids in my family attend and now they must pay for their own books and each year, their list of “needed supplies” gets longer and longer b/c the teachers can’‘t afford to buy things for their own class rooms. No child left behind? What about those who can’‘t afford all those “needed supplies”?? I could go on and on. With four more years of disappointments like these, how will people survive? I see so many people down and struggling. We need a change to try to get our country back on its feet. Four more years of war (and yes, I feel like the war will get worse in the coming years if we stick with our current president), and huge war bills, I can’‘t see our country recovering any time soon.

On Thursday evening, Dave and I went to have dinner at Applebee’’s. I was craving their oriental chicken salad. We had a nice time. It really felt good to be out like a normal person. I got to people watch. So cool. lol… Then on Saturday, my sister came over and we made a trek to WalMart. All of those electric wheely chair thingies were taken, so I just pushed the cart. We didn’‘t stay long. I did manage to purchase a nursing bra and a gown that buttons up the front to take with me to the hospital for after Zack is born. I can’‘t wait to get to Target… Dave is supposed to take me there one evening this week so we can finish our baby registry. At some point, we also need to go to Babies R Us to finish that registry too. My mom and sister are planning my baby shower for a few weeks from now, and I’‘ve been trying to gather up some addresses so they can send out the invites. I still haven’‘t heard back from a few people though.

Today, Pebbles and I are here taking it easy. She’’s snoring on the loveseat and I am laying on the couch—our usual positions. But at least today I can get up to fix myself lunch and to grab a snack later and stuff. Dave insists that I take it easy, and I guess he’’s right. I just can’‘t help but want to leave the house sometimes b/c it’’s been so long since I have been a member of society. Such temptation…

We just returned from the weekly doctor outing. Zack did very well on the BPP test (100%) and in the ultrasound, he was a wild boy… moving around and kicking and rolling. Then, at my OB appointment, things went well. My cervix is doing well, the stitch is tight. So now I’‘m allowed to be up for an hour or two at a time followed by an hour or two of laying down. Not exactly complete freedom, but I’‘ll take what I can get.

So this means that occasionally, I can go out to eat and sometimes I will get to go to the store. Even just getting to go and sit out on the deck will be wonderful. And should anyone come to visit now, I can sit up and talk! Isn’‘t that amazing? LOL

My OB also said that she would like to remove the stitch at around 36 weeks. So it won’‘t be long now. Just a few more weeks. Yay Time to celebrate. I think Dave and I might go out and have dinner together tonight. We haven’‘t done that since June 20. lol… Loooooong time ago, huh?

In our photo gallery (under the old ultrasound pics section), Dave finally posted some new scans of more recent ultrasound images. If anyone is interested in looking at them… feel free to peruse. Although, a lot of people have a difficult time making things out, I think some of these are pretty clear.

I have my bpp and OB appointments tomorrow. Wish us luck.

Someone posted this link on the support group board to which I belong. I’‘ve been cracking up all morning!

http://notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/index.html

Yeah, yeah. For some reason, I cannot get the link thingy to work on my laptop. Go figure.

I’‘m 31 weeks, 2 or 3 days (depending on who’’s counting). My OB told me last week that if I make it to 37 weeks (end of Octoberish), she’‘ll take out the stitch and then we’‘ll wait to see when the baby comes out. Could be hours. Could be days or weeks. So in about 6 weeks, if no other problems arise, I’‘ll be having the stitch out and waiting for Zachary.

I’‘ve been afraid to even consider making it to full term (37 to 40 weeks is considered full term). It’’s always seemed like an impossible dream. I’‘m still a bit scared to even type out the words (thinking I may jinx myself), but in reality, I am getting closer. I could make it that far. And wouldn’‘t that be amazing? A full term baby. I just can’‘t imagine. But I have to realize now, that it is a possibility for us. All this work may very well pay off.

One week from today (next Thursday), I have my second BPP test and then my OB appt. after. My OB said that she is going to manually check my cervix and the stitch and if all looks good, she will lift a few of my bed restrictions (i.e., I could be up and around for 2 hours at a time, followed by 2 hours of laying down, etc.). I’‘m trying not to be too hopeful. But if she does allow me to be up for a couple of hours, I want to go to dinner with my friends! I want to go to Target! (Gotta have my priorities)

For now, I am going to go back to watching today’’s episode of Starting Over, followed by my daily addiction to the Price Is Right.

Wish us luck… fingers crossed.

I read this article on Slate… http://slate.msn.com/id/2106484/… (I can’‘t get the imbedded link thing to work, so bear with me), and I totally agree with it. The president is running the wrong way toward the wrong goal entirely and is taking the rest of us with him. Which is making our whole team look like bumbling baffoons to the world. At the end of the article, the author says the only way to stop him is to tackle him on election day. Well, not literally, but you get the idea. My question is… how? It seems like all the polls show him ahead (although I tend to really question those polls… afterall, they’‘ve never polled me, so how accurate are they? Who did they poll? How many people? What states? How long ago? It’’s all questionable to me.). It’’s early. Perhaps I’‘m not quite able to put things into words properly today. But my point is… I hope someone can figure out how to turn the game around and score one for our country.

Now, after reading my post, I realize, sometimes I hate metaphors. lol