Red Pencil Diaries

I can''t believe he''s growing up so fast. He already weighs 15 lbs. (according to the scales when Dave weighed himself and then weighed himself with Zack). Carrying him around in his carrier has helped me to develop some arm muscles! He''s a chunk. But I''m still kinda sad that he''s growing up so fast. I want him to be a baby, and yet, I''m excited that he''s growing and changing every day. Before we know it, though, he''ll be walking and into everything--which I can definitely wait for. I already cry when I have to put away clothes that he''s outgrown! But it''s exciting to watch him learning already. He watches you talk and he smiles and laughs. He plays and tries to grab things. Such a smart boy! I''m such a proud momma!

We took Zack to the doctor yesterday. He''s had a cold since the weekend. Dave and I have also had it... lots of congestion and coughing. Well Zacky''s turned into bronchialitis (sp?). And now he has to have breathing treatments using a nebulizer. For the first 24 hours, it''s every three hours, then every four hours, then if he''s getting better, we can do it every 4 hours just during the day. Let''s just say I didn''t really sleep much last night. He''s breathing much better now and his cough sounds better too. I had called the dr. on Monday to take him in, but they told me to just give him robitussin dm. I now wonder if I''d actually gotten to take him in then, if he wouldn''t have gotten so sick? But I guess as little as he is, there isn''t much they can give him medication-wise anyway. I just hate seeing him sick. Pitiful little cough. Oh, it just breaks my heart. I''m so glad to see him sleeping without sniffling and coughing. I hope he gets well soon.

So last week, I started exercising during the day for about 20 minutes, and I have cut back a bit on eating. Not cutting things out. Just not eating as much for most meals. Having cereal for breakfast instead of poptarts or waffles. Skim milk, non-sugary cereal. Maybe some yogurt. That added 20 minutes of exercise (on top of me running around doing some housework and taking care of my little prince) seems to be really helping. I lost about 2 1/2 lbs. last week. I''m hoping to up my exercise time each week. Last week, I was only doing about 15 minutes. I''ve also added stretches and stuff to my routine. I didn''t do it every day, just about 5 days. I''m really starting to feel better. I had a difficult time feeling "normal" after all that bedrest. Now I feel like I have more energy. And I can lift and carry my hefty 13 lb. 6 1/2 oz. baby boy for longer periods of time without my arms falling asleep.

Ok... resolution time. Only this time, I am really committed. I feel like the past two years have been a blur. So much stress on me (and Dave). Wow... infertility, loss, job loss, moving, remodeling, pregnancy, bedrest, hospitalization, having a baby... We''ve been through too much. Now we need to get it back together. We''re trying to get in shape and get healthy. Not starve ourselves and diet. But make a real lifestyle change. No silly all meat diets. Just eat better, move around more. Lose weight slowly so it''s more likely to stay off. Spend time doing things for us--not just working on the house. Get away some (yes, even with the baby).

Do some things outside the house for me (oh, and Dave). I registered for a digital photography class at IUS this month. That should be fun. I need to get out of the house some. All this time I''ve spent in this place really gets me down sometimes. I may try to get a job or something in the evenings a couple of days per week. I kind of need to be around people again. Have some me time and do somethings that aren''t housework or baby related. Not working after 10 years of being employed full time has been stressful. You start to feel like you''re not contributing, and then you lose that socialization aspect--yes, you don''t realize how much time you spend interacting with people on the job until you''re cooped up in the house all day. It''s really been a difficult transition.

So those are a few changes we hope to make this year. That, and make this the best year ever for us and for Zack. He''s growin so fast and we want to make sure we enjoy every moment we can. Here''s to a great 2005!