Red Pencil Diaries

My doctor’s appointment went very well, even though the doctor had to go deliver a baby and was an hour late for my appointment. I found him to be very easy-going, intelligent, funny, and calming. He eased my fears. He gave me good information. He has a great success rate. Most of his surgeries don’t end in bedrest. And he prefers to do the procedure after we’re already pregnant. So now, we’re supposed to get pregnant and call him when we are around 11 1/2 weeks along and he’ll see us and schedule the surgery.

I guess now, we just try. And if we don’t succeed, we go back to the fertility doctor and try some more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still scared. Still nervous. But I feel better about things. And I’m very hopeful now. Still a lot to discuss and think about (what to do with Zack while I have surgery… will we put him in daycare at all after I have it? Are we really seriously going to do this? lol ).

I’ll keep you posted. And if I do end up having the surgery, I may start a special blog just to record my journey.

“Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow… creeps in this petty pace from day to day… ” Okay, I won’t quote more Shakespeare.

Tomorrow, Dave, Zack and I are driving up to Indy to have a consultation with Dr. Sumners. We are getting more information about the procedure he does called a transabdominal cerclage (TAC for short). It’s not a new procedure—it’s been around for many years—but not many doctors perform it. It requires surgery to put a band around the bottom of your uterus (above the cervix) so that women with weak cervixes (sp?) can get pregnant (and stay pregnant) for a full term.

I didn’t know about this procedure before we had Zack. With him, I had two transvaginal cerclages (which are offered by several doctors around here, but often require bedrest). I’m hoping to make it through at least most of my next pregnancy without bedrest.

I’m about 80% sure I want to go through with it. Gotta see what Dr. Sumners has to say (whether I’m a good candidate, and whether insurance covers it). We also need to find out whether we should have it pre- or post-pregnancy. Some insurance will only cover the surgery AFTER you’re already pregnant.

Also, this is surgery, so it will require a few days hospital stay and a few weeks to totally recover. And after one is placed, you must have a c-section. I’m not looking forward to either scenario. But I will do what I must do.

I’m just really really really nervous/anxious/scared/happy right now. I can’t quite find the right words to describe my mood. And it’s definitely difficult to explain this whole thing to other people. Anyone who hasn’t been through what I/we have been through these past 3 years can’t possibly know what we’re going through now. For months I’ve been considering all my options: TAC, TVC with bedrest, adoption, or just not having any more kids. But I’ve found myself roaming the baby aisles in stores, feeling jealous about other women who are pregnant or have new babies. Just ONCE, I would love to be able to be pregnant and feel “normal” about things. The stress of my last pregnancy was unbelievable. I wish I had a couple more years to think things through. But I’m 35, and I won’t wait one more year to at least try this out. I just hope things go well for us.
Wish me/us luck.

Zack is smart. Sometimes it surprises me how smart he is. See, today I caught him doing something “bad,” but in his eyes, it was something good. Every day, I give Pebbles ear drops for her ear infection. So I just found Zack with Dave’s bottle of Debrox earwax remover drops (stached in Dave’s bedside drawer), lid off trying to administer it into the dog’s ear. Which is kinda funny, considering I practically have to hold her down to do such a thing.

I told him “No!” and “Bad!” and took away the eardrops. He looked at me, really puzzled, but then grabbed his flashlight and ran off to torment the poor dog by making her chase the light around the house.

sigh Gotta love ‘im.

I recently purchased and now LOVE Snyder’s of Hanover Buffalo Wing flavored pretzel pieces. Yum! So good. Kinda spicy with that tang you get from real hot sauce. I only allow myself a small handful each day, but they are so good. I want to eat the whole bag!

I just read this article about Ikea… they are building one just on the edge of Cinci! Woohoo! One more reason to drive up to Cinci to shop. I’m so excited. Even though it probably won’t be open until 2007. Yay! I’ll save my money until then.

A friend introduced me to Oceangram.com. I keep sitting here watching the pretty water and waiting for another bottle to wash up on shore so I can read its message. I’m addicted. And bored.

My friend Colleen, the writerish type journalist in Muncie, told me about her family’s once a month jaunt to this incredible antique market sale thing in Burlington, Ky. Dave agreed to go with me today. I was super excited… then Dave brought Zack in last night with a fever. We got him up this morning, he was still warmish. Not a high fever, but enough that I know he’s not well and there’s no way to take him all the way up to Burlington today. sigh

Now Dave doesn’t feel well either. They are both napping. I’m getting antsy to finish up some more decorating in my house. I have some rooms complete, but most are only about 1/3 to 1/2 complete. Some rooms I’ve started decorating, but am now not liking the scheme and want to change it, but I’m in too far and can’t turn back now.

I’m supposed to go to a candle party on Tuesday. I’ve never been to one. Sounds like fun. I love candles—I occasionally make my own.

I’m debating between having a “clothing swap” party and inviting over some women friends, or having a “designer purse” party. My sister went to this purse party at her hubby’s aunt’s place. She got a real Coach bag for $40. I want one! I think the clothing swap would be a lot more fun, though. But what would I do with Dave and Zack if I had all those women over?? hmmm.

I also want to learn to crochet. Dave learned when he was young. He said he’s going to teach me. I need to buy some supplies. I also want to do scrapbooking. It’s insane. I shouldn’t start that one. But I want to make at least some kind of record of Zack’s life in pics. I have sooooo many pics of him—all digital. Maybe I should just do an “online” scrapbook instead. I do have photoshop. And quark. Hmmm. Better idea?? Then again, it’s not something I can whip out to show his dates when he’s older. lol

I need a haircut. I got that cute swing bob, but it’s been over 3 months since I got it and now it’s grown out all funky. the sides are really long (a lot longer than the back), but it’s not short enough to just let it hang and be cute, so I pull it back or tuck it behind my ears. And for some reason I keep forgetting to put on earrings. I keep thinking I’ll just grow my hair out. But if I do that, I need to at least get the sides evened up with the back. Or else I’ll just look like I always have a bizarre uneven head.

BTW, Ang L… if you do ever come to Louisville to shop at thrift stores, let me know. I’m becoming an expert on the best locations. lol

I need to work on my Halloween cabin decorations. We go to Jellystone the last weekend in Oct. and I have a theme (skeleton pirates), but haven’t got much for decorating yet. Maybe I’ll start on it now.

Tonight, I went to play in our monthly Bunco game with my mom, her sister, my cousins, and my sister. My cousin Bill had to sub for us because at the last minute, my brother’s girlfriend got sick and couldn’t make it. We had a lot of fun—mostly because my cousin is a total nut. He was at first the reluctant participant, but once he got the hang of rolling the dice, he was unstoppable! He ended up winning 1st place, but he wanted to give up his prize. He won fair and square, though, so we insisted he keep it and share it with his wife (who didn’t win).

I got third place—a lucky bamboo plant in a cool vase. I haven’t won before, so I was quite happy.

On a totally different note, I finished a book the other day that I read on a whim. I had picked it up for $.75 at a thrift store. It was “The Nanny Diaries.” It wasn’t a life-changing book. But it made me cry. And think. I really enjoyed it. It was written by two former nannies, so I wonder how “true to life” it was.

I cannot quit going to thrift stores. Last week I went to Unique. Today, Zack and I went to the Goodwill. I found some nice footed jammies for Zack. They look new. And a couple of tshirts—great for play, but they look practically new too. We also managed to make it home with a Little Tykes play vaccuum cleaner—he pushed it through the store and threw a fit at the register. He was so cute with it. And it was $1.50.So I got it for him. And he’s pushing it around the house, chasing the dog.

I also bought a $1.75 Oilily (very very very expensive brand) girls’ dress (looks about a size 2 or 3 maybe), which has no stains or rips. I think I’ll sell it on eBay.

I guess it could be worse. I could be spending tons of money at other stores. I spent less than $20 today. And Zack and I got out of the house and had some fun. All worth it!

We went to Holiday world yesterday with another couple and their two girls. About an hour after we got there, a HUGE thunderstorm. It poured. The lightning crashed (but only for a few minutes). We were all soaked. So we pushed on with our strollers, through the rain and the puddles to… Splashin Safari. We changed into our suits and when we were changed, the skies cleared and we spent the rest of the glorious day in the sun and the water. Their water park rocks! Zack had such fun! And since it was the last Monday they were open this season (from now on they are open only on weekends until Fall), it was fairly empty. The wait on rides was very short—which is great for kiddies who have no patience.

I just wish we’d have gotten more time in the rest of the park. I only got to ride one ride that wasn’t in the water park. But Dave got to ride two of the roller coasters—including the new Voyage. He said it was quite awesome. When he got off the ride, the wind had blown his hair (which is slightly in need of a trim) back into a very 80s looking “zipper head” rod. I dared him to re-create the look and wear it to work today. He didn’t, by the way.