Red Pencil Diaries

I totally forgot how pregnancy makes you tired. I've felt really sluggish and sleepy a lot. But I feel good, too. I try to take a nap each day if I can. But taking care of a toddler while pregnant is certainly challenging. I feel for anyone who's done it before. I can't imagine those moms who have multiple children while pregnant.

This weekend is our annual trip to Jellystone for Halloween. I'm trying to get the last bits of stuff together for that. But it's slow going. I need to get most of it done by tomorrow night because my niece and nephews are coming to stay with me tomorrow night, and Dave has class on Thursday night.

I've not been blogging as much--mostly because I'm tired and busy. But also, I just feel sort of odd about things. I am usually super happy about being pregnant, but I also still feel scared. Really scared. My last pregnancy really threw me for a loop. And if I have to do bedrest again, I will. I guess I feel skeptical about this surgery. Even though the doctor said I most likely won't need bedrest, I just have a difficult time believing that I could have a near normal pregnancy. I feel the urge to go out and do things because deep down, I fear laying in bed for months. And like last time, I sort of fear getting too attached to my pregnancy. Until I feel like I am at a "safe" point. Then I will be excited.

It sucks to feel this way. I guess it's my coping mechanism. I have moments where I'm giddy just imagining another baby. I love perusing ebay for baby things. I love designing my nursery in my head. Sometimes I feel sort of melancholy. I wish I could be over-the-top excited all the time. Maybe after my surgery, I will feel better. Feel safer. It's just so scary for me.

Maybe I'll go bid on some baby clothes on ebay to make me feel better.

Last week, I was so busy getting the kitchen finished and having my candle party, I wore myself out. I was so tired by the weekend... and then Zack & I caught a cold. So last night, we were driving out to my mom's to pick up a desk for Zack and Dave asks me when my next cycle is due to start so we'll know when we have to go back to the fertility doctor. I sit and think... calculate... and then realize that I was due to start LAST THURSDAY. Well, I've been late before and disappointed, and I was tired and sniffly and didn't want to really think it could be true. So I bought a test last night at Walgreens and then took it early this morning...

Yes, folks, that's two blue lines. I'm pregnant. And without fertility drugs. I'm totally shocked. I keep staring at the test over and over, thinking one of those lines is gonna disappear. But it's still there. And now I have so many thoughts running through my head. I used an online pregnancy due date calculator, and for now, my due date should be around June 23. Which means I will probably have to go to Indy to have my TAC surgery in December. *wow* I just can't believe this...

Thank you all who attended my candle party. I hope you had a nice time. I had fun. Although, all of those "sales" type people talk way too much. But I promise, I really love my candles I bought from Party Lite. They smell wonderful *and* do seem to last longer than other candles I've bought.

I got my kitchen finished (well, close enough) to show off and I'm super proud of how my cabinets turned out. The whole kitchen is so much brighter and cleaner looking. The last parts to finish up are the lighting/ceiling and a bit of trim/clean-up painting.

For those who are interested, here is what it used to look like (well, after we had moved the island and ripped out the overhead cabinets above it).

On Saturday, I met my friend Natalie for lunch. We had Indian food. It was so good. Then we went to a couple of consignment stores. We found some great kids clothes and then found stuff for ourselves too. I found a really cute winter/holiday sweater with a hood that has snowflakes on it. We found some Gymboree stuff and I got three pair of shoes for Zack--including a very cool pair of black high-top chucks! We had some Starbucks chai lattes. Then we hit a couple of thrift stores--finding some more Gymboree clothes and several pair of kids' pajamas that were in great condition. Then we decided to have sushi for dinner. We hit Sapporo and both ate way too much sushi--I highly recomment the Highland roll if you like jalapeno and the Sunday Morning is a super twist on the Philadelphia roll. It was so good to be able to sit and have two meals without yelling at someone to sit down or stop playing with their food! After that, we called home again, and then decided to go gambling! So we drove over to Caesar's Riverboat Casino. I won $66, but then lost $20 of that. Natalie lost a bit on craps--I still don't feel comfortable enough to play that game. lol We had such a fun day. We don't get to do that often, so when we do, we really try to cram in as much fun as we can.

Yeah, most of you will think "She's finally gone mad." But no. Oh no. I've been searching for a steering wheel for a pirate ship for months.

Every year for Halloween (usually the weekend before) my family goes to Jellystone park near Cave City. It's a campground with these cool cabins. My mom and dad go, as does my sister and her hubby and their kids and my brother and his kids and my aunt and uncle and their kids and their kids' kids. etc...

We stay in the Amish cabins and they have cabin decorating contests, costume contests, etc. Last year, our cabin theme was Haunted Honeymoon. We made these two skeletons into a bride and groom, and Dave made a wedding cake from styrofoam and some spackle. We poured fake blood on the cake and had black lights and all sorts of neat stuff. We won first place in cabin decorating. So this year, we are recycling our skeletons and we're making the cabin into a pirate ship... well sort of.

We're hoping to at least make the wooden porch resemble part of the deck. I'm putting together some pirate costumes for the "crew," including Zack, Dave, and myself. So I've been searching for some nautical themed decorations. I have some rope, lanterns, and now my steering wheel that I bought on eBay for $9.95.

I'm searching for a corset top (I have a long black flowy skirt) and some boots for myself. And some pirate scarves. I've looked at thrift stores a bit, but I need to go out again this week looking. I'm also going to hit up Horner Novelty on Spring St. one day this week, too. They always have great Halloween stuff!

If anyone has some women's pirate boots (slouchy boots or old tallish boots or even some lace-ups would do) in a size 8 1/2 or 9, let me know. I think that's the part I'm going to have the most trouble coming up with--unless I'm willing to spend some real dough to get them, which I'm not really into doing just for a costume!