Red Pencil Diaries

I “stumbled” upon this cool picture of a mural an artist painted for a little girl’s room. It’s of Rapunzel, but she’s cut her hair and is tying it to the balcony and is saving herself instead of waiting for her prince. I just thought it was an excellent way to convey to little girls that they don’t have to rely on men for everything—it’s ok to do things for yourself! Love it!

For some reason, this site fascinated me. I’ve been on there for several minutes perusing the various diagrams on the many many ways to lace up a shoe or boot. I never really thought much about it. I guess back in middle school when colored and fancy laces were popular, I used to spend more time lacing and unlacing my shoes. But now, I don’t think about it much. Very cool, though. I think I might try out a few new styles on my shoes.

Today the tension built up and gave me an uber headache. I also have had bad sinus issues because I can’t take my allergy meds because I have to have additional allergy tests done on Friday. But on to the reasons for tension…

On top of the usual “taking care of the kids” tension, and the “cold weather, so I hate to get out” tension, I have a friendship that I think is ending and I honestly have no exact idea why. I have a few theories. But it’s been a bit of a rocky, moody friendship for a few years, so I guess I’m not totally surprised. She and her hubby have sort of dropped Dave and myself. I’ve been feeling guilty, like I must have done something. Who knows. It’s become very obvious that something is up—others have noticed and started asking questions. Which creates more tension because I don’t want to start things or say anything bad. Ah well. I’ve made some new friends, though, which has made things feel a little better.

Dave was having blood sugar issues today. So I was worried about him. And then there is the issue with my mom (and dad). They live in (and manage) a trailer park. I used to call it a mobile home park (back when it was new and actually fairly nice). Now, it’s become over run with crazies and freaks and anyone who can’t afford anyplace else to live. My mom and dad are the bad guys—anyone who’s gotten an eviction notice or had the cops called on them has tried to take it out on my mom and dad by screaming, yelling, cursing, stalking them. Well, this time, one of them attacked my mom. Knocked her down on her own porch and knocked a rocking chair on top of her and left her. She went to the hospital and has some bruises and stuff, but she’s ok. And the crazies also called the cops and told them that my mom had “attacked” them. The boyfriend even had blood on his face. My mom—who has severe arthritis in her knees? Attacking two drugged-out screaming freaks who’d already been banned from the trailer park because of their huge fighting and yelling matches? sigh I’m just scared for my mom and dad. Scared that the next time, the crazies will have guns or something. When I first heard the news, I tensed up and I’ve had a deep churning pit in my stomach all day after I heard the details. I just wish there was more I could do. I told them to come and stay with us. But they do have to work. That’s why they are there.

I was reading this article/list on MSN and it has some great tips for getting organized and saving time. I need every little minute I can get. Thought I would share this with whomever chooses to read it. I think I’m going to try to include a few of the tips in my daily/weekly routine.

I especially like the idea of designating 30 minutes for cleaning after dinner. Makes sense because we can burn some energy, get chores done, and then sit and rest with TV or a movie. And making it a routine is such a good idea. So many times we eat dinner and then just settle in front of the TV and don’t move around enough. Then I get behind on chores and try to cram them all in right before bed.

I was surprised at the amount of caffeine in my favorite beverages. Amazing that regular old coffee beats out some of those energy drinks for caffeine content! And who knew that Pepsi One had more caffeine than Coke Zero? Well, I’m sure someone knew, but not me.

I’m a stay-at-home mom. I have been for 3 years now. But this is the hardest that it’s ever been. Lola is crawling and into tons of stuff. She’s a stage where she cries if I’m out of her sight and wants me to hold her for 50% of her day. Zack isn’t 100% potty trained. I still have to feed, dress, change diapers/pull ups and/or help him go potty. Three days per week, I watch them (by myself) for at least 8 hours, sometimes more. On Mondays and Wednesdays, Dave has class right after work, so I have Zack and Lola for around 13 hours or more. I rarely get them both to nap at the same time for more than an hour. Getting housework done is quite a challenge. And by the time Dave gets home after school on Mondays and Wednesdays, I’m out of my mind. I don’t get more than 5 minutes in the shower alone—and that’s not really alone. That’s more like showering while Zack stands at the shower door announcing in his loudest voice that Froggie is hungry and needs a pretzel. Even just getting out of the house is a feat in itself. It takes tons of advanced planning, and even then we often don’t get out on time. And after being out for more than an hour, someone throws a fit and we have to get back home. Home, where I try to tame temper tantrums, break up fights (well, not so much that Lola is fighting, but that Zack is angry that she’s gotten into something of his), calm them when they are hurt or upset, feed them their meals. Where I sometimes just want to sit down and watch something other than Diego on TV and where I wish I had some time to fix something better for dinner than whatever is frozen and can be heated up. Do all moms feel this way? Am I going mad?

Dave doesn’t seem to understand why I get so frustrated and irritated—especially on the two days he has class.
Advice? What can I do to feel less flustered? Less frustrated? I don’t get “me” time much.  I love my kids. I love being home with them. I just feel like at this rate, I can’t do it much longer without a break. But where do I get a break? Zack is in Mom’s Tyme Out for a few hours on Thursday mornings. But I still have to care for Lola… sigh